Taken with him, what he's taken from me

I was raped.

In a gas station bathroom one night after using the washroom. In a small town a 'friend' knocked on the door then pushed his way in when I answered it. He shoved me hard against the sink,, pulled down my pants and forced himself inside of me. I couldn't look into the mirror in front of me, my face pushed into the glass, a fat lip.

He died a few days ago. I heard his girlfriend found him hanged in his home. I wish I knew more details, I only learned he was bipolar and stopped taking his meds after he and his girlfriend got into a fight.

My heart stopped when I heard the news. I feel tied to the death in a couple of different ways. For one, he too was struggling with a messed up head. For two does that mean I could forgive him for what he did to me? Finally, does this close the case of my rape? Can I let it go now?

The sky opened up tonight as I walked down the hill towards my house. The stars were our and the air was clean and I was on top of the world.